Dealing with infertility

It’s easy to advice people going through infertility issues on how to handle it when you don’t have a firsthand knowledge of how it feels to want something badly and not be able to get it.

I’m sure this is the thought that goes through most people’s mind when they see a topic like this, but no offence, we are all just trying to help.

Most people think that babies are the easiest thing to have until when they finally really, really need them and they discover that they can’t, because babies have a mind of their own.

Most women don’t like talking about their fertility issues, I know half of my friends who have had at least one miscarriage, but they tell no one. I believe women should be ready to share their experiences so that other women going through the same issues can pick a thing or two from what they experienced and learn from it. By refusing to be ashamed because we encounter difficulties on the path to getting pregnant, we can help other women.

From what I’ve gathered from various expectant women, these are some of the things you should do

1. Choose a winning team

You need an infertility team, your fertility doctor, your gynaecologist, and your personal support system. Choose carefully, if there’s someone on your team who doesn’t share your grief, or is dismissive, stop confiding in them and if it’s your doctor who doesn’t listen to whatever you have to say, get a new doctor.

2. Know when to stop trying

This is one piece of information that saved me from emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial disaster, I knew even when I was going through series of infertility treatments that there was a limit to what I would do to try to conceive.

There’s a point when I would have to stop if nothing happens because, at a time, I might not be able to handle the disappointment and pain of failed infertility procedures. After going through a series of IUIs and four rounds of IVF I told myself it was time to stop, and I tried adoption. Most couples would rather keep trying until they conceive, but knowing that infertility treatment does not work for everyone is important.

3. Be open to a different path

Life rarely ever goes as planned. If the plans you had before you got married to have kids and raise a big family were foiled by the infertility issues that you are having, the key to dealing with infertility is letting go of what you thought your life would look like.

4. Get Informed

There’s a lot more you don’t know about your body than you do. There’s nothing you can do to control fertility but you can control what you learn about all the fertility treatments out there. If you are beyond 30, let your husband get his sperm tested, the problem might not be with you, but him.

5. Don’t Wait for Prince Charming

Instead of lamenting your situation, do something. You can adopt a child or try egg freezing. Egg freezing also called human oocyte cryopreservation  is a process in which a woman’s eggs (oocytes) are extracted, frozen and stored. Later, when she is ready to get pregnant, the eggs can be defrosted, fertilized, and transferred to the uterus as embryos (expensive though).