Present Yourself Positively because You need people to judge you in a positive way. People judge
you on four things;
Everything you say;
Everything you do;
How you look; and
How you sound.
In order to succeed at a higher level, you need to gain the
greater confidence of other people. You need to trigger, in their minds,
positive thoughts and feelings.
If you can trigger positive thoughts and feelings, then they
will think of you as an inspirational character.
If you cannot trigger positive thoughts and feelings, in the
minds of others, then they won't think of you much as an inspirational
character. Which is bad, but what is worse is...
If you trigger NEGATIVE thoughts and feelings, in the minds
of others, then they will think of you as a negative influence; or, depending
on what you are doing and saying, they will think of you as a Grump, Mr Angry,
as a Wimp, as a Self-Pity Personality, as one of any number of negative personality
types.
So the question stands: how can you best orchestrate your communication
so that you present yourself to the world in such a way that you tend to
create, in the minds of others, positive impressions, positive thoughts and
positive feelings, and thus gain their confidence, and thus make more progress?
you can achieve it if you think it through and work on each
of the four sets in turn.
As already stated, people judge you on four things;
everything you say; everything you do; how you look; and how you sound.
So let us look at each in turn and make observations on
each.
EVERYTHING YOU SAY
People judge you based on your use of language and what you
talk about. This is the most important thing to focus on.
You need to become VERY conscious about what it is that you
talk about. So If you want to come across well, then do this:
Talk in optimistic terms about the future.
Pick out things in the current moment that is good,
attractive or is improving.
DON'T talk excessively about your fears for what might go wrong.
DON'T tell people all about your upsets and worries and bad
luck.
Don't tell people about why you are angry with whomever.
Do talk about your goals and your plans to make the future
better than the past.
Do ask people about their goals and their plans.
Don't allow others to talk about their anger, their
frustrations, and their fears, for very long, before you consciously bend the
conversation into the direction of future goals plans and optimistic visions of
a better future.
Keep a close eye on the content of the conversation and
exercise a constant vigil on the content and make sure that it is mostly upbeat
and progressive.
Only a minority share of the conversation should be of a
negative nature, (20% of the time allotted to fear, anger, bitterness, revenge
and upsets, and 80% of the time allotted to goals, plans, optimistic view of a
better future.)
Ponder the implications to the changes required to your
conversations.
Your use of language also maters. If you talk nicely, then you will make a
better impression than if you talk in rough tones and in rough terms.
If you are polite to people, you move up the scale, if you
are rude or short with people, then you move down. If you never swear or use
profane language, then you move up, and to the degree that you swear or use
profane language, you move down.
Become conscious of the quality of your vocabulary. Throw
out the bad, and emphasize the good use of language.
2 EVRYTHING YOU DO
What you talk about is important. But you have heard the
saying; Talk is cheap.
Meaning: let us look at what you do, not at what you say you
do.
Actions speak louder than words.
To be a positive influence you need to act in accordance
with the principles stated above.
Meaning: spend at least 80% of your time working to achieve
your goals: planning, prepping and preventing problems. Don't only tell people
you are positive, show them you are positive.
Be an inspiration by the fact of your act.
Act the role of an inspiration.
Drop all habits that conform to fear, anger, bitterness and
revenge. These are ugly motivations.
Accentuate all habits that conform to optimism, goal focus,
achievement, health and happiness.
Do it on purpose, as a skill.
3 HOW YOU LOOK
People will judge you partially on how you look.
If you look like a defeated tramp, then that is what people
will take you as.
If you look like a happy and successful person, then that is
what people will assume you to be, unless and until, you give them evidence to
the contrary.
Contrary to popular belief, looks do matter.
If they did not, then the cosmetics industry would not
exist. But the cosmetics industry is worth billions annually and so we can
assume that people DO put a psychological emphasis on visual impact.
So if you want to impress, then dress the part.
An actor wears the clothes that correspond to the role he or
she is playing. So should you.
Be cautious that you have dressed in a manner that is
consistent with your goals, not with your upbringing.
It is not only your clothes that are important, so is your
body language.
Now we are talking about:
Your body posture.
Your handshake.
Your arm gestures.
Your hand gestures.
Your facial expression.
Your eye contact.
The degree to which you fidget or don't.
The degree to which you smile and laugh, or don't.
All of these are subjects of serious study.
4 HOW YOU SOUND
People judge your levels of authority and confidence partly
on your voice tones.
Louder tones sound more confident than quiet, timid tones.
Deeper tones sound more authoritative than juvenile, high
pitched, shrill tones.
Slower pace delivery sounds more considered than slick, fast-talking-salesman
delivery.
And then there is the issue of regional and national
accents.
Some accents are difficult to understand by people who don't
share that accent.
So you need to make each of these elements the subject of
some serious study.
Volume, Pitch, Pace, Accent.
Summary
Think about the following elements.
What you talk about. (This is the most important element in
inspiring others.)Your habitual vocabulary.
How you act. (This is the second most important element in
inspiring others.)Be a positive role model.
How you use your body to communicate. (Like Tom Cruise or
Brad Pitt or Funke Akindele or Omotola Jolade, dress for the role you want to
play in life).
How you dress and Your voice tones.
Think them all through.
Take your time and go over each one, with a fine tooth comb,
and figure out what improvements you could and should make. Be cautious that
you speak in a manner that is consistent with your goals, not your upbringing.
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