Relationship problems don’t always have to be so hard to fix. In fact, your problems just might be easier to fix than you realize…
all intimate relationships go through a slump where the relationship just doesn’t seem to be very much fun anymore and things just don’t seem to be working very well. At this point, neither the husband nor the wife feels like they’re getting support from the other or that they’re understood by the other.
Let’s go deeper…Usually when companions start feeling these kinds of feelings, it can usually be traced to problems, difficulties, or stresses in one or more of the following areas:
Financial / Money,
Child-Rearing,
Work / Career,
Health,etc
Now, here’s what usually happens…These problems, difficulties, or stresses generate feelings within an individual that range from mildly unhappy to burning resentment. And, even though it may have nothing to do with the individual's spouse, still, it gets PROJECTED to the spouse in all sorts of ways – from short, snappy responses to withdrawing, aloofness, and coldness.And that in turn, generates to God knows what. So by way of example, let’s say a husband and a wife both work and they are both unhappy in their jobs. Because of this, they are both unhappy when they get home.If this couple doesn’t take special care, their actual situation of “I’m unhappy when I get home because of work” can quickly become TRANSLATED into an, “I’m unhappy AT home”.The thing is, this can happen without either party realizing it because they’re both so caught up in their own feelings that they come home drained even exhausted.And, in this drained state, they don’t have the energy to be supportive to their spouse. Often, they don’t even have the energy to see if their spouse even wants or needs support.Now, pause for a moment and think about this with regard to your relationship. Have there been times when this has happened within your own relationship?Clearly, these negative TRANSLATIONS and unwanted PROJECTIONS are what both you and your spouse must stop if you want to get your marriage out of its slump.OK, let me REMIND you how to do that…Start making “thought-sharing” time for each other – even if it’s just a few minutes here and there.Go sit down together at a quite place- away from home and without the kids – and share with each other what’s on your mind.If you’ll do this, not only does it give the two of you some breathing room, you’ll most likely find that the unhappiness and resentment will just go away.Probably, you’ll realize that the fight really isn’t between the two of you. Probably, you’ll both realize that you allowed external things to come between the two of you .Most likely, you’ll discover that you still like each other a lot.So, take some time, make the space, create the environment where you and your spouse can explore what’s going on in each others’ head.In doing so, you’ll eliminate the common mistake that many couples make of translating external unhappiness into marriage unhappiness.
that the answer to most relationship issues is and always will be devoting more time to sharing thoughts and feelings with each other more often.And that’s something EASY that anyone can do – including YOU!
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